When I got into my marriage I was upfront and honest about my green thumb. Or rather lack thereof. My husband was perfectly suited to me because he came into the marriage professing his love of gardening and talking up his green thumb. He was the gardening ying to my yang, the shovel to my manure. Or so I thought.
I love a pretty garden, I just won’t be the one maintaining it. I am oblivious to minor weeds and general maintenance that is required, I will pretty much start noticing it needs some work when the grass is knee high and I am having trouble navigating the car out of the driveway due to the overgrown bushes. This is where I assumed I could rely on my husband’s keen eye for gardening. How wrong I was. It seems he also loves a pretty garden, but has given up on being the one to maintain it. Early on he was eagerly cutting grass, planting trees, maintaining a vegetable patch and then, like all hobbies, I think he just got over it. Life got busy and he just stopped putting in the effort. But hey, that wasn’t the deal we made! You love gardening, not me! Yes, I know I want a pretty garden, but maintaining it wasn’t in my job description when entering this marriage. Remember?
We bought some beautiful pot holders to hang along the side fence of the house last Summer. As I’m not the green thumb in this relationship, I left it to my husband to buy some colourful flowering plants for the pots to brighten up the fence. He bought some vibrant red and white flowering plants, placed them in the pots and hung them on the fence. They looked amazing. For a month. I then started noticing that they were looking a bit dry, so I mentioned that maybe they need watering. My husband was sitting on the couch and agreed, yes, they need watering. Great I thought, he’s going to get up now and water them. He didn’t. So I casually asked if he was going to water them. Yes, but not now, I’m busy. OK. A week later, uumm, have you watered those plants? Not yet. I will. Another month and they were dead. You may ask me, but you noticed they were dying, why didn’t you water them? It’s not my thing! I came into the relationship with full disclosure on this topic! It’s the principal of the matter, is it not?
So now, a year on, rather than start with divorce proceedings, we have decided on some counselling. We have a gardener coming this afternoon to quote on our garden maintenance.
Whilst I’m all about principals, I may have been up front about my lack of gardening prowess, maybe not so upfront about my shopping addiction. After all, relationships are all about give and take are they not?