Over the years I have been called stubborn, obstinate, headstrong, ornery and tenacious to name a few descriptions. I think if I pulled out a thesaurus, I may have been likened to all the synonyms for stubborn at some point or another.
I’m not stubborn I just have a well formed sense of what I like.
And that’s not changing.
The definition of stubborn is…
having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good reasons to do so.
That sounds like a bad thing doesn’t it? But I’m not generally stubborn about things around me in the world. I’m not an expert on anything, and if I have a point of view about something, I can happily be re-educated by someone more knowledgeable than me on general world topics. I’m not closed off to new ideas or opinions like some annoying know-it-all.
But I am stubborn about my taste and my personal values. I have no middle ground. I either love something or I hate it. What is really hard, is when someone asks my opinion of something they really seem to like, which I don’t. I don’t like to lie, but I don’t like to hurt feelings either. Not every friend I have can handle my brute force hatred of things that aren’t to my liking. Some friends, in some situations I can be honest with. When I’m honest, I will either tell you I love it or I hate it. If you hear silence and some general murmuring and a topic change, then know that I hate it, but suspect I’ll hurt your feelings if I tell you so.
For instance, if you were to tell me that culottes were the latest fashion I had to get in on, I probably couldn’t hide the look of disgust that crossed my face. I hate them. These most ridiculous and unflattering pants, could be worn by all the most desirable people and I would still have no truck with that. I’m really not a fashion follower at all when it comes to clothes. I buy pieces I love that are a bit funky and suit my predefined taste. I have no idea what the current fashion is, because I don’t follow it. Probably young people look at me and think, my god what is she wearing, she’s so out of date, and I’m okay with that. I’m following my own path.
I can’t explain what makes me decide I like somethings and hate others. I look at something or someone and I just know, and there is rarely any flexibility in my feelings about it. I have a tendency to hate things that are popular fads of the moment. For as long as I can remember if there was some fad object that everyone else had, that was all the more reason for me not to have one. There are no fidget spinners in my house I can assure you, and there never will be either.
When it comes to my values, I think it is reflected in the people I choose to call my friends. They’re all so kind, funny, thoughtful people that are accepting of others regardless of where they come from and what they believe. I don’t tolerate dickheads very well. If you’re a dickhead, I will smile politely and move on, you’re not my kind of people. I have no time to waste with people who are haters.
So I’ve always lived by my own rules, whether it be what I wear, where I live, or who I hang out with. You can’t change my mind so don’t even try. I can live with being called stubborn if it means I get to do what I like.
So, if someone could just let my mum know that I’m not changing anytime soon, that would be just great.